Long Days Journey into...Hertz
Just a typical day in the neighborhood...It started with creating an aluminum foil bobsled run from the faulty air conditioner drain pan into a bright blue bucket at 2am this morning. Back up a few days and watch the oafish, bald guy try to caulk up the holes in his blasted corroded ac that was installed when Michael J. Fox was wearing square cloth ties. It failed miserably after not running the air for 24 hours (that's what the caulk told me). Without whipping up the exact replica of the run from the Lake Placid Winter Olympics, there would be oodles of noodles of water everywhere on the floor. Now, I just change the bucket every few hours like some dude cleaning bedpans in prison. Have you noticed that I don't want to call a repair person? I noticed it too...
So, I got up at 4:30am (do the sleep math) and went to make the lattes at 5:30am, while most humans are still experiencing Michael Stipe sleep. As my day progressed, I felt a sickness coming on...and it did. I hit the wall around 10am, but continued to work because....I'm...the...big...boss....man. I sent myself home early after drinking 6 gallons of tea. I took a nap and realized that I still had to pick up a rental car at the airport for an SBUX event in Jax tomorrow. Sigh. Off I went. I pushed aside a few stray chickens and tumbleweeds scattered across the Gville airport to get to the rental counter. The agent actually asked me for a SBUX id in order to claim the tantalizing white Ford van (because there was a huge mob behind me in line with hopes and dreams to get the same car). Then I perused over to the Publix (while trying to hit every pot hole along the way) to pick up sick food requirements: Gatorade (to help support UF), chicken soup (no airport ones were harmed) and popsicles. On the way in, I ran into an old friend that is moving out of town in a few weeks. So, you ever notice when you are sick and out and about, you tend to wear clothes that are not appealing in any way (except on Bono)? My friend called me out by making fun of my fat shorts. I pushed him into a stray shopping cart (not really). I sped home while drinking an entire 64 oz 'ade along the way. But that's not all!!!! There on the curb, outside my condo, were 4 wooden chairs, ready for the trash heap. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Now the heap of chairs are in my living room. Yippee. Oh yeah, I emptied the bucket just in time....
So, I got up at 4:30am (do the sleep math) and went to make the lattes at 5:30am, while most humans are still experiencing Michael Stipe sleep. As my day progressed, I felt a sickness coming on...and it did. I hit the wall around 10am, but continued to work because....I'm...the...big...boss....man. I sent myself home early after drinking 6 gallons of tea. I took a nap and realized that I still had to pick up a rental car at the airport for an SBUX event in Jax tomorrow. Sigh. Off I went. I pushed aside a few stray chickens and tumbleweeds scattered across the Gville airport to get to the rental counter. The agent actually asked me for a SBUX id in order to claim the tantalizing white Ford van (because there was a huge mob behind me in line with hopes and dreams to get the same car). Then I perused over to the Publix (while trying to hit every pot hole along the way) to pick up sick food requirements: Gatorade (to help support UF), chicken soup (no airport ones were harmed) and popsicles. On the way in, I ran into an old friend that is moving out of town in a few weeks. So, you ever notice when you are sick and out and about, you tend to wear clothes that are not appealing in any way (except on Bono)? My friend called me out by making fun of my fat shorts. I pushed him into a stray shopping cart (not really). I sped home while drinking an entire 64 oz 'ade along the way. But that's not all!!!! There on the curb, outside my condo, were 4 wooden chairs, ready for the trash heap. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Now the heap of chairs are in my living room. Yippee. Oh yeah, I emptied the bucket just in time....
posted by by Rob at 8:04 PM
1 comments
1 Comments:
Of course the Michael Stipe joke was funny, but it is tough to tell a bad rent-a-car joke. An entertaining post... and I really like it when you say "SBUX."
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