Oh Boy! Celluloid!
Movies, Movies. Movies. Thumbs up and down. I'm thinking about starting an insurance company that has a copay for concession snacks. You pay $3 and my business will pay $2 for the vat 'o popcorn. Speaking of Orville Reddenbacher, shouldn't they partner up with Oral B? I'd buy several tubs (ironic name for fatty buttery popcorn) if there happens to be floss glued to the 'corn vessel...but I digress...Went to see a flick tonight with a host of peeps. I have several rules when it comes to movie going, so sit back and listen:
1. Being late for a movie is not an option. The same film is on 34 screens for every fifteen minutes in the summer. You can't be on time for that? Just pick a time and arrive 20 minutes earlier. Simple. End of discussion. Nothing sucks more than getting that front seat where you have to take out your contact lenses to watch.
2. Previews cannot be missed. It is your god given right to watch these snippets of what could be pure drivel or just another Jackie Chan shoot-em-up. Talking is still allowed at this time and encouraged. Making fun of the next Ice Cube crap fest gets you mega points.
3. Shut up and turn off your stupid phone. There are 17,234 announcements before the film to silence your Moto. Tonight, the jackass next to me not only didn't turn off his phone, but proceeded to examine the caller ID to find out if Screech called. He then put it on vibrate and got another call later. Jackass...but I digress...
4. It is just a movie. Suspension of belief is allowed. When you go to a goofy film, don't expect Meryl Streep telling poop jokes. Keep your expectations low and your IQ lower. I am truly amazed when a film treats the audience with respect and doesn't feed every angle of the main characters in the first 30 minutes. We're adults here, so give us some cred.
5. At least once in your lifetime, you have to sit in the last row with a date and smooch through the whole thing. That was the best film ever....
1. Being late for a movie is not an option. The same film is on 34 screens for every fifteen minutes in the summer. You can't be on time for that? Just pick a time and arrive 20 minutes earlier. Simple. End of discussion. Nothing sucks more than getting that front seat where you have to take out your contact lenses to watch.
2. Previews cannot be missed. It is your god given right to watch these snippets of what could be pure drivel or just another Jackie Chan shoot-em-up. Talking is still allowed at this time and encouraged. Making fun of the next Ice Cube crap fest gets you mega points.
3. Shut up and turn off your stupid phone. There are 17,234 announcements before the film to silence your Moto. Tonight, the jackass next to me not only didn't turn off his phone, but proceeded to examine the caller ID to find out if Screech called. He then put it on vibrate and got another call later. Jackass...but I digress...
4. It is just a movie. Suspension of belief is allowed. When you go to a goofy film, don't expect Meryl Streep telling poop jokes. Keep your expectations low and your IQ lower. I am truly amazed when a film treats the audience with respect and doesn't feed every angle of the main characters in the first 30 minutes. We're adults here, so give us some cred.
5. At least once in your lifetime, you have to sit in the last row with a date and smooch through the whole thing. That was the best film ever....
posted by by Rob at 11:30 PM
1 comments
1 Comments:
1) Subscribe
2) Subscribe X 2. Jackie Chan is the Fred Astaire of "kung-fu."
3) Subscribe and one of the main reasons why the wife and I wait for netflix 99% of the time.
4) So are you doing a pro or a con here... I wasn't sure. In any event, I just need movies and TV to be internally consistent. First season of Airwolf... only Stringfellow had the madskillz to use the turbos on The Lady... next season local sheriff can do it.
Mach 1+ attack helo ... sure why not.. the blades would fly off and the hub would shatter long before, but I can go with it. But if Dom is too old and creaky in season 1... he is too old and creaky in season 2.
Hah! An Ernest B reference!
5) Subscribe.... and with extra base hits.
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